Perplexities

Don't want to lose myself to you

Don't want to drown in your ocean

Don't want to slip and fall...

I've got words so I write them...

I love art and I love music, but I listen with reason and observe with keen sight.

The creative in me sees no limit, no boundaries, no fullstops...

Simply the beauty of infinity -

Vastness and a large, stark canvas -  in waiting.

Wish to brush strokes on this untouched surface...

See lines and shapes; images form from nothing...

A splash of colour will do just fine... then a verse to add rhyme.

I could melt in my dreams... 

I see visions of a distant place... places I'll soon be.

Life's map carved from rough matter... Chiselled and etched.

Sheds the old... the dust drifts away.

The road's unwinding, but the world's a kaleidoscope.

Changing patterns...

'Different strokes for different folks' - is that so?

Yet I believe in my consciousness...

Don't want to lose myself to you -

The you that births my passion...

I am spell bound to create -

determine to transform...

Don't want to drown in your ocean

Caught by the burning need to do things differently

To change my course for a moment... 

Don't want to drown in your ocean - though it's a rush.

Don't want to slip and fall...

Can't lose self.

Can't lose my identity...

Don't want to fall into an abyss

Don't want to slip into emptiness.

The matrices of the now factor plagues the mind's rationale of existance.

In a maze, shifting positions...

The road is unwinding, but the world's a kaleidoscope.

What does the inner voice say?

-------------

Written by: Rachael N. Collymore

© 2011

Remembering You!

Sometimes we are reminded on days like these, of tender moments, smiles and tears

Of words to console and words to scold.

Today I remember someone close, someone dear, someone true...

I remember you, though you're no longer here...

But I remember for me, for those living and for those who hold a piece of your heart.

I am reminded of time; how precious, how significant, how fickle...

Like vapour it vanishes without a trace, never to reclaim

Yet, memories linger to and fro - like a gentle breeze, it caresses my soul.

To be comforted right now is what many seek, 

is what we hope and pray for... healing

But like many broken hearts, time heals all wounds.

Although, I don't write this to be consoled or for sorrow...

I write because your life made an impression...

Your presence is felt still, because your smile remains.

Today and always I remember you...

...on this day you were given - your birthday!

...a soul rests and I rejoice in your peace.

~Ruth Hunt~ 07/02/1937

Sunset: 11/12/2010

I Love You

<3

 07.02.2011

A mind's turmoil

I thought it would be easier to leave her standing there

With her broken heart, her insecurities, her fears...

I thought I did not care...

He would try his best to read me, to get me, to see me.

He would come and stay silent for a while and watch me...

Me, as I stared blankly, beyond him - not seeing him.

I would close my eyes and drift away, momentarily

Wishing that life would revive me.

Wishing to reclaim me - an I identity, lost.

No tears fall from these cold eyes,

Frozen emotions that feel no emotion...

Though, love was there, standing beside me

This coma was more than I could bare...

It's all in my mind, they say...

but in reality, I'm living a nightmare.

She is my love, She's the one I long to hold and reassure...

Reassure her that I'm here and will always be here. 

I see her turmoil written on the lines that crease her forehead -

Her face, sullen; eyes distant... 

and I feel her torture seeping into my soul; I wish to rid the pain that she holds...

But she's not letting me in...

Drifting like the waves crashing on the sand, she moves like she's in a trance.

This trance has taken her over.

I long for the glimpse of her smile of a happier time - a breath of fresh air to my soul -

Her eyes dancing with the sun as she laughs...

Yes, I wish to revive the warmth of her touch now frail and stone cold...

If only... I want to make this journey with her...

If her world is no longer here and in a distance place - I want to be there...

Sigh...

He's so confused right now... He's looking at me still, trying to read me.

Oh how I want to tell him... So much I want him to know, but...

He's hurting for me... I want him to go away..

Why doesn't he leave?

My eyes are now affixed on her back; her body in a slant...

Droppy shoulders send me a warning - hopeless...

And I am in a hopeless state right now, cause I can't leave her.

In and out a maze of confusion

A realm of illusion...

Mind trailing mind... 

Boxed in a world without escape...

No doors, no shutters, no window pane...

Cast away like the forgotten...

An inevitable fate.

And if an embrace could heal

or that one solitary touch, could melt a heart

maybe the right words to say,

the right moment, the right time...

Maybe we'd break free from the caged mind - 

walls that blocked out the memory of us.

Could we co-exist again, in a world of revolving doors?

Maybe we'd break the silence...

but then, are we conscious?

Written by: Rachael N. Collymore

© 2011

20.01.2011